12) The Psychiatrist Sketch

B: Dr Braintree (= psychiatrist)   R: Roger (= patient) 

B: Come in. [Enter Roger.] Hullo, Roger.

R: Hullo, Dr Braintree.

B: Hullo, come in.

R: I’m sorry I’m late.

B: That’s quite all right – how are you?

R: I’m very well, thank you.

B: Would you like to sit down, or would you prefer to lie.  [pun: to lie:liegen to lie: lügen]

R: Uhm, I’ll sit, thank you.

B: Right, well, sit down. Tell me, how are you in yourself?

R: I’m feeling just great.                                             

B: Oh, this is terrific.

R: Yes, and it’s more than I expected from our sessions. You know, if anyone had told me that talking to  psychiatrists could have help me at all, I would have laughed in their faces.

B: Yes.

R: But I can honestly say that our little chats together have really been of tremendous help to me.

B: I’m so glad, Roger: of course a lot of people are instinctively suspicious of psychiatry, but it can help at times.                                 to be supicious of: argwöhnisch, misstrauisch gegenüber

R: Well, I really think it can, because you know, I’ve got so much self-confidence now. I’m much less self- conscious in the company of the opposite sex, which I wasn’t, as you know.

B: Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. You’re less inhibited, are you?           inhibited/inhibition: gehemmt/Hemmung

R: [Suggestively] Oh yes,  I should say so.                               suggestive(ly): vielsagend, (auch) anzüglich

B: Good, this is terrific.

R: And the wonderful thing about it all is … well, I’m in love.

B: Well, this is wonderful news, Roger – you’re in love. – With a woman?

R: Yes.

B: So much the better – that’s terrific.

R: You know, it’s so wonderful to be in love – I can’t tell you the absolute joy I have. … this girl, this creature [emotional], this goddess …

R: I mean, she’s

B: Yes …

R: She’s so, you know, it’s so right. Everything is so wonderful, you know.

B: Yes, yes – you really click together.

R: Yes. Oh, it’s so marvellous, but – the only trouble is that, apart from this wonderful light-hearted love I have, I seem to be saddled with this tremendous burning sense of guilt.          guilt: Schuld     saddled with: belastet mit

B: You have guilt as well as love: well, this is unfortunate, Roger. You know, sex is the most wonderful natural, healthy thing in the world. There’s no reason at all to have any guilt about it I mean, why should you have guilt about sex?

R: Well, it’s not really as simple as that, you know – it’s rather difficult to explain. Uhm, I don’t really know where to start.

B: Well, begin at the beginning. That’s always the best place. What’s the girl’s name.

R: [Pause] Stephanie.

B: Stephanie. That’s a lovely name, isn’t it – well, my wife’s name in fact, isn’t it?

R: Yes, it’s Stephanie.

B: Yes, it’s Stephanie.

R: Yes, it’s Stephanie.

B: No, it’s Stephanie.

R: Yes, it’s Stephanie: it’s your wife.

B: Oh, you’re in love with my wife, Stephanie. Well, this is a perfectly understandable thing, Roger. She’s a very attractive woman – I married her myself. I don’t see why you should feel upset about that.

R: But she’s in love with me.

B: Well, this again perfectly understandable, Roger. I mean, you’re a perfectly attractive human being, as I’ve   told you over the last few weeks. There’s nothing repulsive about you, is there? There’s no reason why a highly sexed woman such as Stephanie should fall in love with you. And I must explain to you, Roger, that I’m a very busy man: I have many, many patients to see – I see rather less of my wife perhaps than I should, and I think it’s perfectly understandable she should seek some sort of companionship outside the marriage – I don’t think that’s unreasonably at all.                        repulsive/repulsion/to repel: abstoßend/abstoßen/Abstoßung

R: But she’s not seeking anything outside marriage – nor am I. We want to get married.

B: Well, this is understandable. After all, you’re two young people in love and you want to express your feelings within the confines of a bourgeois society through marriage. I think it’s very appropriate. bourgeois: ['bu6$w%]

R: The awful thing is, you see – I should feel grateful to you for what you’ve done. And all I can feel is this burning jealousy – I can’t bear the thought of you touching her.    confines ≈ limits ≈ borders: Grenzen    jealousy: Eifersucht

B: Well, of course, I understand this. One is tremendously possessive about someone one loves … it would be unhealthy not to have this jealousy reaction, Roger.

R: But don’t you see – I hate you.

B: Of course you hate me, Roger.

R: I hate you for being so near her.

B: Yes, of course you hate me, Roger. You love to hate the one who loves the one you hate to love the one you hate. This is a very old rule, Roger – there’s nothing to feel ashamed about. It’s absolutely reasonable.

R: Don’t you understand – I want to kill you.

B: Of course you want t kill me. Because by killing me , Roger, you eradicate the one you hate. This is a perfectly natural reaction, Roger.                                                                 to eradicate: ausrotten

R: You’re so reasonable, aren’t you.

B: Yes, I am.

R: [Getting cross] You understand it all so much … you are so logical. [Gets up to strike him.] cross (with sb.): böse (auf jmd.)

B: Yes, I am – it’s my job.

R: I’m going to have to kill you now!

B: Ah – Roger – this is a little inconvenient, because I have another patient a six-thirty and then there’s someone else at seven after that. I wonder if you could make it some time next week. [Standing over him.] Could you make it early in the week, say?                   (in)convenient: (un)passend, (un)günstig [Termin etc.]

R: [Pause – relax] When do you think?

B: How are you fixed on Wednesday morning? Say nine-thirty – would that be convenient?      to be fixed on/for:

R: Yes, that’s perfect.                                                                              “wie steht’s mit”

B: Right, well, if you could pop along at nine-thirty and kill me then.              to pop along: “mal reinschauen”

R: Once again, Doctor Braintree, I’m amazed, you know, really. I’m so grateful to you for showing me the way.

B: That’s what I’m here for, Roger.

R: Thank you very much. Thank you.

B: And with a bit of luck, this should be the last time you have to visit me.  

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