6)
Constable Savage
·
S: Constable Savage O: Senior Police Officer
The
Scene: Constable Savage [NOMEN EST OMEN!], a racist and
bigot, is taken to task for his racist behaviour by a senior police officer. [[In a few places the sketch has been simplified for the benefit of a
non-English-speaking audience. These passages have been marked off by double
brackets.]]
O:
(The senior police officer’s voice has a cutting edge.) Come in, shut the door. Now then, Savage, I want to talk to you about
some charges that you have been bringing in lately. I think that perhaps
you’re being a little overzealous [[a little too
keen]].
S:
(in a slow and somewhat stupid voice) Which
charges do you mean then, sir?
O:
Well, for instance, this one: loitering with intent to use a
pedestrian crossing. Savage, maybe you’re not aware of this, but it is not
illegal to use a pedestrian crossing. Neither is smelling of foreign food
an offence.
S:
You’re sure, sir?
O:
Also there is no law against urinating in a public convenience [[public
toilet]] or coughing without due care and attention [[without
proper care]].
S:
If you say so, sir.
O:
Yes, I do say so, Savage! Didn’t they teach you anything at
training school?
S:
I’m sorry, sir.
O:
Some of these cases are plain stupid: looking at me in a funny way
… Is this some kind of joke, Savage?
S:
No, sir.
O:
And we have some more here: walking on the cracks in the pavement *),
walking in a loud shirt in a built-up area [[in the city
centre]] during
the hours of darkness and walking around with an offensive wife. In
short, Savage, in the space of one month you’ve brought 117 ridiculous,
trumped-up and ludicrous charges [[117 absolutely ridiculous and downright
ludicrous charges]].
S:
Yes, sir.
O:
Against the same man, Savage.
S:
Yes, sir.
O:
A Mr Winston Cudoogo of 55 Mercer Road [[Spencer
Street]].
S:
Yes, sir.
O:
(to Savage, who’s been standing so far) Sit
down, Savage!
S:
Yes, sir.
O:
Savage, why do you keep arresting this man?
S:
He’s a villain, sir.
O:
A villain …
S:
And a jailbird.
O:
(exploding) I know he’s a jailbird,
Savage. He’s down in the cells now. We are holding him on a charge of possession
of curly black hair and thick lips.
S:
Well, … well, well, well there you are, sir.
O:
You arrested him, Savage!
S:
(stupidly pleased) Thank you, sir.
O:
Savage, would I be correct in assuming that Mr Cudoogo is a coloured
gentleman?
S:
Well, I can’t say I’ve ever noticed, sir.
O:
(absolutely furious) Savage, you’re a bigot [[racist]].
It’s officers like you that give the police a bad name. The press love(s) to
jump on instances like that and the reputation of our force can be permanently
tarnished [[can be ruined for ever]]. Your whole time on duty is
dominated by racial hatred and petty personal vendettas [[and personally
motivated revenge]]. Do you get some kind of perverted gratification [[pleasure]]
from going around stirring up trouble?
S:
Yes (!),
sir!
O:
There’s no room for men like you in my force, Savage. I’m
transferring you to the SPG [[to London Zoo]]. Get out!
S:
Thank you, sir. (leaves the room)
ANNOTATIONS:
some selected words and expressions
constable: (Anrede, Titel) Wachtmeister; bigot: Eiferer, bigotter Mensch; to take sb. to task: jemand zusammenstauchen; overzealous (PRONUNCIATION: [e]!): übereifrig; to loiter: herumlungern; public convenience(s): “Bedürfnisanstalt”; to cough: husten; crack: Spalt, Sprung, Ritze; built-up area: geschlossene Ortschaft; trumped-up: erfunden; ludicrous: lächerlich; villain: Schurke: jailbird: Knastbruder, “Knacki”; curly: lockig, (hier) kraus; to tarnish: beflecken; petty: kleinlich, “kleinkariert”, unwichtig, geringfügig; vendetta: Fehde, Rachefeldzug; gratification: Genugtuung, Befriedigung; to stir up trouble: Unruhe stiften, [“aufrühren”]; to transfer to: versetzen nach/zu; SPG = Special Patrol Group: Spezialeinheit der Polizei
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