British newspapers (from the BBC TV series Yes, Minister & Yes, Prime Minister)

The Times is read by the people who run the country.
The Daily Mirror is read by the people who think they run the country.
The Guardian is read by the people who think they ought to run the country.
The Morning Star is read by the people who think the country ought to be run by another country.
The Independent is read by people who don’t know who runs the country but are sure they’re doing it wrong.
The Daily Mail is read by the wives of the people who run the country.
The Financial Times is read by the people who own the country.
The Daily Express is read by the people who think the country ought to be run as it used to be run.
The Daily Telegraph is read by the people who still think it is their country.
And The Sun’s readers don’t care who runs the country providing she has big tits.

The Wall Street Journal is read by people who run the country.
The New York Times is read by people who think they run the country.
The Washington Post is read by people who think they ought to run the country.
USA Today is read by people who think they ought to run the country but don’t really understand the
Washington Post. They do, however, like their statistics shown in colorful pie charts.
The Los Angeles Times is read by people who wouldn’t mind running the country, if they could spare the
time, and if they didn’t have to leave L.A. to do it.
The Boston Globe is read by people whose parents used to run the country, and they did a far superior job of
it, thank you veddy much.
The New York Daily News is read by people who aren’t too sure who’s running the country, and don’t really
care, as long as they can get a seat on the train.
The New York Post is read by people who don’t really care who’s running the country either, as long as they
do something really scandalous, preferably while intoxicated.
The San Francisco Chronicle is read by people who aren’t sure there is a country, or that anyone is running
it; but whoever it is, they oppose all that they stand for. There are occasional
exceptions if the leaders are handicapped, minority, feminist, atheist dwarfs,
who also happen to be illegal aliens from any country or galaxy, as long as
they are Democrats.
The Miami Herald is read by people who are running another country but need the baseball scores.