SKETCH #19 "The Penultimate Supper" Monty Python [3:59]
Pope: John Cleese Michelangelo: Jonathan Lynn
video: www.youtube.com/watch?v=J4oKXagF3IE
[[Renaissance
Choir: [Gregorian Chant]
Servant: A Michelangelo to see you, your
Grace.
Pope: Who?
Servant: Michelangelo,
the famous Renaissance artist whose best known works include the ceiling of the
Sistine Chapel, and the celebrated statue of David.
Pope: Ah.
Very well...
Servant: In
1514 he returned to Florence and ...
Pope: All
right, that's enough, that's enough, they've got it now!
Servant: Oh.]]
This opening bit is NOT included in THIS audio file.
The following transcription may differ in parts from the exact wording of the
audio file
and also from that the video version:
Michelangelo: Good
evening, your Grace.
Pope: Evening,
Michelangelo. I want to have a word with you about this "Last Supper"
of yours.
Michelangelo: Oh,
yes?
Pope: I'm
not happy with it.
Michelangelo: Oh, dear. It
took hours.
Pope: No,
not happy at all.
Michelangelo: Do
the jellies worry you?
Pope: No.
Michelangelo: They
add a bit of colour, don’t they? Oh, I know, you don't like the kangaroo.
Pope: What
kangaroo?
Michelangelo: I’ll
alter it, no sweat.
Pope: I
never saw a kangaroo!
Michelangelo: It’s
right in the back. I'll paint it out, no problem. I'll make him into a disciple.
Pope: Aah.
Michelangelo: All
right, now?
Pope: That's
the problem.
Michelangelo: What
is?
Pope: The
disciples.
Michelangelo: Are
they too Jewish? I made Judas the most Jewish.
Pope: No,
no, it's just that there are twenty-eight of them.
Michelangelo: Well,
another one would hardly notice that. So, I'll make the kangaroo into a disciple.
Pope: No, no.
Michelangelo: All
right, all right, we’ll lose the kangaroo altogether, I don’t mind. I was
never completely happy with it.
Pope: That's not the point. There are twenty-eight disciples!
Michelangelo: Too
many?
Pope: Well,
of course it's too many!
Michelangelo: In
a way, but I wanted to give the impression of a huge get-together, you know. A
real last
supper, not just any old last supper, but a proper final treat, a real
mother of a blowout.
Pope: There
were only twelve disciples at the last supper.
Michelangelo: Well,
suppose some of the others happened to drop by?
Pope: There
were only twelve altogether.
Michelangelo: Well,
maybe they had invited some friends?
Pope: There
were just twelve disciples and our Lord at the last supper. The Bible clearly
says so.
Michelangelo: No friends?
Pope: No
friends.
Michelangelo: Waiters?
Pope: No.
Michelangelo: Cabaret?
Pope: No!
Michelangelo: You
see, I like them, they fill out the canvas, I mean I suppose we could lose three
or four
of them, you know, make …
Pope:
Look! There were only twelve disciples at ...
Michelangelo: I've
got it! I've got it! We'll call it "The Penultimate Supper"!
Pope:
What?
Michelangelo: There
must have been one, I mean if there was a last one there must have been one
before that, right?
Pope: Yes.
Michelangelo: So this, is the "Penultimate Supper"! The Bible
doesn't say how many people were there now,
does it?
Pope: No,
but...
Michelangelo: There
you are!
Pope: Look!
The last supper is a significant event in the life of our Lord, the penultimate
supper was not! Even if they
had a
conjurer and a steel band. Now, I commissioned a last supper from you, and a
last supper I want!
Michelangelo: But look …
Pope: With twelve disciples and one Christ!
Michelangelo: One?!
Pope: Yes
one! Now will you please tell me what in God's name possessed you to paint this
with three Christs in it?
Michelangelo: It
works, mate!
Pope:
It does not work!
Michelangelo: It
does! It looks great! The fat one balances the two skinny ones.
Pope:
There was only one Saviour!
Michelangelo: Well,
I know that, everyone knows that , but, what about a bit of artistic licence?
Pope:
One Redeemer!
Michelangelo: I'll
tell you what you want, mate! You want a bloody photographer! Not a creative
artist with some imagination.
Pope:
I'll tell you what I want! I want a last supper with one Christ, twelve
disciples, no kangaroos, by Thursday
lunch, or you don't get paid!
Michelangelo: Bloody fascist!
Pope:
Look! I'm the bloody pope! I may not know much about art, but I know what I like!
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